Umrah Through My Soul

Qur'anic Recitation

2008-08-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

Narrated Abu Musa

The Prophet said, 'The example of a believer who recites the Qur'an is that of a citron (a citrus fruit) which is good in taste and good in smell. And the believer who does not recite the Quran is like a date which has a good taste but no smell. And the example of an impious person who recites the Qur'an is that of Ar-Rihana (an aromatic plant)which smells good but is bitter in taste. And the example of an impious person who does not recite the Quran is that of a colocynth which is bitter in taste and has no smell."

Longing for Mecca

2008-08-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

The last days in Mecca went by as a blur, between worship, studying for the final exam, and shopping. Needless to say, I had to struggle with separation anxiety as I prepared to part from new old friends; friendships forged with the strongest of bonds: love for Allah, His worship, and this deen. I had to battle the depression setting in from leaving the sacred land, without knowing if I'll ever be invited back to it.

Tears were shed, hugs and kisses abounded, and before I knew it, I was home reunited with my loved ones, but longing for Mecca.

Angelical Visitation

2008-08-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

A group of teachers from Al-Qura University in Mecca honored us with their instruction in Quranic memorization and recitation. I had personally chosen to attend the lectures by the visiting scholars instead of these classes. However, while sitting and reviewing my notes in their proximity, I was drawn by the angelic presence of sisters from all over the world empowered by the recitation of the Holy Qur’an. The sisters, put aside their shyness, and raised their voices as wings, liberated of any self-consciousness and focused on every letter, pause, and elongation. I joined in, hesitantly, and began my own journey, delving into the chapter of Qur’an entitled “Mankind” and remembering the few verses where Allah says: "Verily, We showed him the way, whether he be grateful or ungrateful”.

Crippling Reality

2008-08-16T14:57:00.000-07:00

On a side and sad note, I must say that my heart constricted nightly when leaving the masjid after ‘Isha prayer, witnessing a mother and her five daughters, nine years old and younger, begging right outside the masjid. Originally from Nigeria, three of the children are crippled: one of the girls missing an arm, another girl missing both arms, and yet another missing both arms and legs. The youngest girl, with eyes as dark as black pearls and no older than four years old, just sits quietly behind one of her crippled sisters. The oldest, Halima, walks around in her jilbab, shiny scarf, and innocent smile. They are all victims, and to give in to their begging is insignificant to their suffering.

On a different night, two crippled siblings; a girl and a boy, both chant loud cries or songs to attract the worshippers. Some people pause, sympathize, and give a riyal, a smile, or a pad on the head, while others no longer affected by the misery between the Holy Sanctuary and the tallest hotel under construction towering over it, just pass them by. All in all, their presence is heart shattering, and a vivid reminder on the twisted state of affairs of the Muslims.

Precious Relics

2008-08-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

We also visited the museum adjacent to the Kiswah factory, which contains relics that speak of the changes the Haram has undergone throughout time. I pondered on an old wooden door of the Kaa’ba, its simplicity and humbleness, and how the door has become so ornate and elaborate, full of gold and inscriptions.

There are a few crescents from demolished minarets, engraved slabs, a lock and key for the door of the Kaa’ba, and several picture frames illustrating the expansion of the Haram through the years.

Amongst the relics, I fell in love at first sight with a wooden trunk that was part of a pillar of the Kaa’ba and dates back to 65 AH. Enclosed in glass, we are prevented to touch and smell this piece of history, from a time when many of the companions of the prophet (saw) were still alive.

Towards the exit, there was a replica of the original manuscript of the Qur’an. SubhanaAllah!

Golden Veil

2008-08-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

We visited the living Kiswah museum, where the curtain covering the walls and door of the Kaa’ba are made. The site is equipped with historic weaving machines and embroidery stations, where men are responsible for creating the astounding black cover with gold embroidery that covers Allah's house. Verses and words from the Quran in Arabic calligraphy are embroidered on the curtains, as well as in a different fabric used to cover the inner walls of the Kaa’ba. Although the design of what is inscribed has not changed in over half a century, it is known to have changed in previous centuries.

In the courtyard outside the weaving and embroidery rooms, we were amazed to find dates on the ground, which have fallen from the fondant palm trees. Nothing like a fresh date to remind us of the sweet opportunity we have been blessed with, and how we’ll be living Mecca in a few days.

Iman Boot Camp: Worship Workout

2008-08-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

The following days went by in a haze, between worship, intense study, and meeting our basic needs of food, drink, and sleep. Blessed by visitation of honored scholars on a daily basis, we were constantly under their instruction, gaining useful knowledge, and striving to visit the Holy Sanctuary as often as possible between classes.

One of the sisters brought light, like a beacon, into our hearts, with her daily invitations to perform Tawwaf in the darkness of the night. She opened my eyes to the nightly workout essential to uplift our spirituality, and the performance of the Tawwaf as a means of strengthening our iman, purifying our soul, and building a stronger connection with our Lord to draw upon after going back to the US. She taught me how veils of light and purity can be lifted with persistence in our ibadah.

While performing Tawaf along hundreds of Muslims, I would often look up directly above the Kaa’ba and imagine the angels circumambulating the Kaa’ba Maruf (surah Tur) in the heavens.

Throughout these days of intense learning, at times my heart called me to worship and skip class. In one such occasion, I retreated to the masjid to perform salatul Tasbih, a training of the soul that brings coolness to the eyes, and remembrance to the heart and tongue. Although the praying area was relatively deserted, as I began my prayer an elderly sister sat close by, placing her feet directly in the place where I would make prostration. Aggravated, I took a deep breath and drew my attention back to remembering Allah, dismissing the sister’s poor choice as a weapon of Shaitan to distract me from worship. Alhamdulillah, as I soon as I redirected my attention to the salah, the sister moved her feet eventually living altogether, providing me with ample space and peace for prolonged prostration.

Another time, I skipped class to perform Tawwaf in the time preceding the sunset prayer. Given the lessened crowded, I began my circumambulation with my eyes on the corner of the Black Stone, and set the intention in my heart to touch it if possible. The heat of the day had already dissipated as hundreds of people gathered around the Kaa’ba in worship. In my second round, I attempted to come close to the black stone but the danger of getting caught up in the crowd made me shy away from it. Yet I was blessed to hold my gaze and look at it clear as the day, when one of the sisters kissing it moved away from it. It was that glance that quenched my desire for it. Another glance, this time at the station of Ibrahim, added awe upon peace, wonder upon security.

I continued with the tawwaf and in the round before last, between the Yemeni corner and the Black Stone and with my hands high in supplication, an old man took his dhikr beads and placed them in my hands, as he moved away with the crowd. This act of kindness was a cool breeze from which I would draw comfort and relief to reconcile being yelled at, pushed away, and harshly taken out of my salah by a male guardian after having started the maghrib prayer in the main floor of the masjid.

It was during this week that we also had the unique opportunity to witness the washing of the Kaa’ba. This is a challenging ordeal, since thousands of worshippers need to be moved away by security officers to make space for the equipment needed for it and for those honored to perform the washing, amongst who is the keeper of the key to the Kaa’ba. Wondrous to be entrusted with this key!

Midnight Umrah

2008-08-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah after registering in the hotel, we proceeded to freshen up and head towards the Holy Sanctuary. Anticipation on entering the Haram and setting eyes for the first time on the Kaa’ba filled my heart with mixed emotion and my mind with infinite questions. “Would I love it? Would I be skeptical? Would the umrah itself turn out to be too ritualistic and not spiritually fulfilling for me? Would I feel awkward kissing the Black Stone? How about praying at the Station of Ibrahim?”

All these questions disappeared like the morning dew does in the heat of the day, as I withheld the Kaa’ba with my eyes, heart, and soul. Covered in its black cloak with golden embroidery, the Kaa’ba reaffirmed to me the oneness of Allah, and the unity and equality of its worshippers regardless of gender and race.

We began by performing the Tawwaf, the circumambulation of the Kaa’ba. During the tawwaf, we supplicated for the best of this world and the hereafter, and safety from the hellfire. Moving swiftly through the crowd, we touched the Yemeni corner of the Kaa’ba but were unable to come close to the Black Stone or the multazim (the section between the Black Stone and the door of the Kaa’ba) due to the overwhelming crowds.

After completing the tawwaf, we prayed salat-ul-fajr and proceeded to perform the Sa’i, walking between the hills of Safa and Marwa. During our performance of this rite, thoughts of Haggar, her sacrifice, and the honor Allah bestowed on her, sowed seeds of inspiration and happiness in my heart. I imagined her desperation upon Ismail’s (as) condition and her relief and gratitude when Allah blessed them both with the water of Zamzam, which continues to flow in the land and in our bodies as we drink it.

As we concluded the rites of Umrah, the cutting of a portion of our hair was a reminder of how inconspicuous vanity can be, and how, upon my demise, my hair will be braided in preparation for burial.

Leaving Medina

2008-08-16T14:38:00.000-07:00

On this day, we prepared to depart from Medina heading towards the holy sanctuary in Mecca. It was an all day affair, filled with anticipation as many of us internally prepared our hearts to behold the Kaa’ba for the first time.

We assembled around 1:30 pm as expected, but did not leave the hotel until approximately 4. On our way, we made a quick stop at masjid Quba, and headed to the miqat – the station where the muslims assume the ihram or garment in which the umrah and hajj are performed. Yet ihram requires much more than a garment, because from this point on we would recite the talbiyah, and refrain from any idle talk or argument, and concentrate on supplication, remembrance and worship.

Adrenaline Rush

2008-08-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

I must admit, that night, I set out to the masjid with a bit of turmoil in my heart, as I hid my camera under my cloak to take a few pictures of the inside of the masjid. Why I even considered the thought of fooling the sisters I had earlier praised, still escapes me. All I know is that I was as discreet as humanly possible and after taking two pictures I got caught! One of the sisters grabbed me by my wrist and forcefully dragged me to an office inside the masjid. Ashamed and fearing the repercussions, I reassured her that I only had taken two pictures and could erase them. The sister who brought me to the office left me in the hands of another one, who would not even let me show her the pictures in my digital camera, but wanted to figure out the camera and delete the pictures herself. After deleting the pictures, I asked her if she would send me to prison, jokingly and nervously at the same time. She said I would not be sent to prison but be asked to sign a register. I did so, and as I walked out she gave me a smile and a small booklet about umrah.

As I stepped out the masjid, my heart still in my throat, I walked away through the courtyard and took a few pictures of the minarets. Shockingly, another guardian sister came all the way from the door of the masjid and locked hands on my wrist and camera, and dragged me inside the masjid to the same office I had just left.

I thought: “Now, I am really going to jail!” I had previously taken pictures in the courtyard, so I tried to defend myself by saying I thought the prohibition applied only to the inside of the masjid (as if I hadn't broken that one too). She would have none of it. She dragged me inside the masjid and left me there with the sister who dealt with me earlier.

Alhamdulillah she was kind enough to excuse me and explain pictures should be taken far away in the courtyard, and not in the courtyard sections immediately adjacent to the doors of the masjid. I was again free to go but no without appreciating how serious these sisters take the responsibility bestowed on them.

On my way back to the hotel, I decided to stop by the bookstore recommended by the sisters at the masjid’s library earlier that day. To my astonishment, as I set foot in the bookstore I saw a familiar face to many: Sheikh Hamza Yusuf from the US. I was blessed to converse with the brother about the affairs of the ummah, and the revival of this deen.

Needless to say, all the events and emotions from the day caught up with me and I headed to the hotel for a night of restful sleep.

Gratitude for Appreciation: Murshidat

2008-08-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

Although we were scheduled to attend classes at the prophet’s masjid (saw), my heart pulled me in a different direction: to sit quietly in the masjid and read Qur’an.

As I was preparing to leave, I stopped to ask one of the female guardians of the masjid about the Zamzam water coolers and their provenience. She said that Zamzam water is transported from Mecca via tankers.

Impressed by their strength, knowledge, and how they take their job's responsibility at heart, I complimented her in my broken Arabic for it. I did not anticipate the excitement in her accepting my appreciation, and as she called more of her “co-workers” so I could repeat my words. She commented on their hard work being overlooked, not appreciated, and on worshippers actually cursing them as they strive to maintain order, and control the crowds.

One of the sisters actually took my hand and led me to a room where free literature in various languages is distributed. I reassured her that my intention was only to sincerely compliment them and their work, not to get anything from them. She insisted I take some free literature in English with me, and then led me to a library inside the masjid, opened to women only, with volumes and volumes of Islamic knowledge for women to read in the premises. I was pleasantly surprised to find a whole bookshelf filled with books in the English language. The sisters running the library actually gave me the name of the bookstore where I could find some of the English books available in their library. (Dar Zaman, outside masjid’s gate 26, on the right).

Witnessing History

2008-08-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

Due to time constraints, we were not scheduled to visit some of the historical sites in the area. However, blessed to be accompanied by a previous Hajj leader, we embarked on a mini excursion to visit some of the historical sites in the area.

We began by walking out the masjid and heading towards one of the back streets where public transportation is available. As we walked down the street, we were reminded of death by looking through the fence into al-Baqi’i graveyard where some of the best beings to have walked this Earth are buried. We saluted them as suggested in the sunnah of the prophet (saw), and moved on.

Alhamdulillah we were soon on our way, to our first stop: Mount Uhud. This mountain range of rough terrain, immediately made me think about how arduous it must have been to fight in the Battle of Uhud. Looking at the hill right opposite to the mount, I was reminded of the breach in obedience by the Muslim archers, and how many of the sahaba were martyred as a result of this act.

In between the mount and the hill, there is a fenced-in stretch of land where Hamza (ra) and the martyrs of the battle of Uhud are buried. We saluted them as the prophet (saw) did before his death, and continued our excursion.

Our next stop was the masjid of Qiblatain (two Qiblah), where the order to turn our direction of prayer from Jerusalem to Mecca was assumed during Asr salah. The ornamental designs inside the masjid resonate with peace and unison. Carved walls and well-rounded domes in natural colors create in the worshipper a sense of humility and inner peace.

Last, we proceeded to masjid al-Quba, another architectural jewel inside out. This masjid is where at the conclusion of the hijra, the prophet’s camel stopped and the first musalla was built. The prophet (saw) said that praying in this masjid is equivalent to umrah, and used to visit it frequently in his lifetime.

Qur'an Complex

2008-08-16T14:25:00.000-07:00

On this day, we ventured out to visit King Fahd Qur'an complex where copies of the Qur’an and translations of its meaning are printed.

The complex is a manufacturing plant with access to the latest technology & equipment on printing, and with a strikingly competent publication capacity. It prints approximately ten million copies of Qur’an a year, 95% of which are donated around the world to various organizations, and 5% of which are sold at the bare cost of manufacture.

Qur’ans are printed in approximately 20 different sizes, and each page of each size goes through a scrupulous 5-stage process led and supervised by scholars and scientific experts. The process consists of 1) printing of the letters, 2) printing of the nuqta (dots), 3) printing of the tashkeel (punctuation), 4) printing of the rules of recitation (tajweed symbols), and 5) printing of aesthetic details such as numbers of the verses, ornaments, and borders. At each stage, a committee of experts examines each page approving or rejecting its accuracy. The entire process lasts approximately 2 ½ years for the publication of one Qur’an size.

A display of translations of the meaning of the Qur’an included translations to Greek, Indonesian, Bosnian, Spanish, Zulu, and even, to my surprise, a translation accompanied with a CD in sign language for the deaf.

For more information on this printing house, visit www.qurancomplex.org

Visiting a piece of Jennah

2008-08-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

The prophet (saw) said between my house and my pulpit is a piece of Jennah (rawdah).

With the anticipation of not being able to perform certain acts of worship, I set out to the masjid with the intention of entering the rawdah and not leave until I did so.

There are special times throughout the day when the women are allowed time to enter the rawdah, and come as close as allowed to the rooms were the family of the prophet (saw) used to reside (Hujurat), and the graves of the beloved prophet Muhammad (saw) and his righteous companions Abu Bakr Siddique and Omar Ibn al-Khattab (ra). I was told one such time to be 9 pm, so I went to the masjid for night prayer and stayed on.

Women were grouped according to nationalities into three groups that night: Egypt, Gulf countries, and Cham (Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, and Jordan). I, a Venezuelan convert, joined the group of Cham, and sat down with the sisters waiting for the gate to be opened.

The time was supposed to be 10, not 9, so I sat and utilized the additional hour of waiting to read Quran, pray sunnah, and meet some of the sisters in my group. I was blessed to meet sister Ekbal, from Jordan, a newly wed honeymooning in Medina and soon to migrate to Australia with her husband. MashaAllah!!! A knowledgeable soul amongst hundreds of ignorant worshippers, the sister and I hit it off. We were thrilled to be companions in this journey to the rawdah, and listened attentively to the masjid’s female guardian who instructed us on the etiquette of visiting it.

The sister explained that our intention should be to visit the rawdah, not the grave of the prophet (saw), and to perform acts of ibadah in it, such as du’a, salah or dhikr. She warned us about asking anything from the dead, including the prophet (saw), or making salah and attributing its reward to the dead. She suggested that based on the sunnah, we can only do Hajj, Umrah, du’a and pay charity on behalf of the deceased (or fast, if owed by them).

Although usually punctual in opening the gate, this night there was an unexpected delay, and we waited for another hour before the gate was actually opened.

While waiting in the group, I wondered how the sisters would be able to control the crowds of sisters surrounding the gates, so that our quiet, patient group would be allowed to enter first. Well, no need to wonder. Once the gate was opened, a sisters’ stampede would rush in while we were told to sit patiently for our turn.

Disheartened, we were eventually instructed to move forward as a group and stopped at several places before actually reaching the rawdah. On the way, Ekbal and I would become separated and then reunited, finally praying and supplicating together in the rawdah. Surrounding us, women from all nations also prayed, supplicated, wept, and overjoyed at reaching this piece of jennah.

We saw the rooms were the prophet’s family lived, and caught a brief glance at his pulpit.

Exhausted and overwhelmed by mixed emotions of happiness, contentment, humility, and peace, we walked out of the masjid into the coolness of the night. Sister Ekbal & I parted ways, but joined by this unique experience we will never part at heart.

The Prophet's Masjid inside out

2008-08-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

Early afternoon, we were honored to be taught by female teachers in the prophet’s masjid, and were reminded of the greatness of our predecessors, scholars of the caliber of Abu Hurairah (ra) and Saad bin Mu’ad (ra). We learned the lessons of sacrifice in the quest for knowledge, and the importance of supplicating to our Lord relentlessly.

Right after class, we had the privilege to enter an area of the masjid unknown to the general public. We visited the control room, where the masjid's schematics and its supporting facilities challenged our knowledge of architecture, engineering, and control systems. Our guide explained the intricacies of the design, capacity, and coordination of all systems that go into making the masjid safe and comfortable for its worshippers.

He spoke about the moving domes that can be open to regulate air circulation, about the cooling system working through subterranean pipes 7 km away from the masjid, about the power supply sites and generators, pumps, switching boards, and fire prevention systems.

We proceeded to another area underground, below the masjid’s front courtyard, where we had the opportunity to watch a display of photographs on the the recent expansion of the masjid. We were then seated and shown a video on the history of the masjid’s expansion.

The masjid is indeed a jewel in its architectural structure and engineering systems, designed with utmost professionalism, expertise and the latest technology and equipment available. My kind of place!

First visit to the Prophet's Masjid (saw)

2008-08-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

Of course I had to turn around the first time I attempted to visit the masjid, since cameras are not allowed inside it. My failed attempted visit was during the time of women's visitation to the rawdah, and I was beyond sad to miss it.

So I hung outside the masjid and turned the visit into a photographer’s exploration. The beauty and exquisite architectural designs of the masjid’s façade held me in awe even for days to come. Every detail, from the doors to the arches to the majestic minarets, domes, and cooling umbrellas, were delicately engineered to harmonize and bring peace and security to its visitors.

I went back to the hotel and dropped the camera, and returned to the masjid, striving to have humility in my heart when entering it for the first time.

From the time I set foot in the masjid, I wondered how I could ever leave it and be able to achieve peace and happiness except by coming back to it. I wanted to cling to the walls of the masjid, become one in prostration with its rugs, and never ever walk out.

And I was reassured, because wherever I looked I saw only Allah’s name.

Submission. Peace.

Labor Pains - Jeddah to Medina

2008-08-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

A five-hour journey turned into a twelve-hour trial.

The road trip from Jeddah to Medina reminded me of labor and delivery. It was an arduous, painful, lengthy process - longer than the labor of both my children combined! Yet, with the first sight of the city of knowledge, of security and peace, all the difficulties were forgotten. Just as when looking at a newborn all the labor pains are but a blur in a mother’s memory.

Jeddah arrival

2008-08-16T14:04:00.001-07:00

Alhamdulillah, we arrived in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia at the hottest time of day. A wave of emotion overshadowed the stroke of heat that hit our faces as we stepped out of the airplane and into Saudi ground.

Tears of gratitude swelling in my blood-shot, tired eyes.

Once everyone was finished with customs, we loaded our belongings in the buses that would take us from Jeddah airport to the blessed city of Medina. Before departing, we headed to the airport’s masjid and congregated for salat-ul Jumuah. Staying awake during the sermon and prayer was in itself a challenge as exhaustion set in.

As we prepared to leave for Medina, we were unable to find two sisters and waited for a couple of hours without any success. Eventually we departed, longing to arrive at the city of light.

To undertake the journey of a lifetime…

2008-08-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

We set out to JFK airport on Thursday morning, filled with hope and anticipation to visit the holy land and blessed cities of Mecca and Medina. Our drive from RI, through CT and into NY was uneventful and smooth, alhamdulillah.

After check-in, we sat for two hours at the gate, waiting to be granted permission for take off, while friendships with sisters from San Antonio, TX and Baltimore, MD blossomed as a spring garden.

Here we come our Lord, here we come.